I have never been able to do for myself what I’ve done for my children

As parents read this piece, I’m certain many would agree. The power of love can not just move mountains but inspire a level of motivation and bravery to act on your child’s behalf in ways you would never do for yourself.

I wonder would Charles Darwin agree. Are we, as parents, seeking to raise stronger children with better opportunities by way of instinct. I’m not sure it’s selfless or unconditional. I certainly gain a lot of satisfaction from all that I do on my children’s behalf.

Now I must make clear this – I don’t do their homework for them or buy them the world. This is more about time and energy dedicated to supporting them be it in enterprise like my autistic son’s very successful after school business or watching my daughter play sport, being her taxi driver and where necessary communicating with the school.

I am not comfortable with confrontation. I go out of my way to avoid it. Some people love it. Whatever floats your boat. I’m more than happy to scroll past an opinion I don’t agree with on Facebook. But when it comes to issues concerning my kids; holy shit, there are no barriers. Now I’m always very polite in conjecture. I don’t name call but if I call BS about disability, bullying, discrimination and judgmental parents or unoffered parenting advice I will speak up.

Of course it is rare you can convince someone to change their opinion but it’s important that in a healthy debate both parties accept each other’s right to an opinion.

On reflection, and thinking about what I’m prepared to speak up about it’s never for me. An ex friend used to tell me about her other friends who didn’t like me. Hence she’s an ex friend. But it took me years of listening to her toxic diatribe before I cut ties. I wondered how can people who don’t know me dislike me? Then the penny dropped! Because she is saying nasty shit about me. Why else? I would sit there in silence over coffee and put up with this. Guess what? She would whine about these very same friends of hers to me. The difference is I never bought into that drama. But it took me years.

I could go on about other stuff, but seriously, it’s not even important to me. It’s just a curious thing that we as parents wage war for our kids but put up the white flag for ourselves.

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