1% Great

I wasn’t going to blog today but I really want to record how I dealt with temptation at a time when yummy food is everywhere.

I was 99% good. Christmas Eve we had a family lunch and a different family dinner. I was good. I avoided temptation. I ate lovely fresh, wholesome food.

Christmas Day I was 1% great or maybe you might say naughty. I’ve always had a fondness for being naughty. It sits well with me. I love skinny dipping. I love swearing. I’m a selective swearer these days. My husband dislikes it and so I try very hard to not to swear around him and my kids. I’m not a gutter mouth but sometimes fuck is a funny and appropriate word. I’m a great admirer of Billy Connolly. I love flashing my boobs at my husband when nobody is looking. I love that after seventeen years he still blushes.

Breakfast was yummy left over mince. A good source of protein. An easy meal and avoiding wasting food. My Dad would be proud. He eats food way past it’s use by date. Lunch was a simple affair at my parents. Ham, prawns and salad. But then I had my first vodka. Ah what a slippery slope. I am no longer pissfit. But I drink like I think I am. So I downed that first one pretty quickly and I really felt light headed. Yes, me, after one drink. I slowed down after that. I asked my husband to only give me half nips. What a lightweight!

We played board games. We laughed til we cried. We discovered my daughter is incredibly cutthroat competitive. She shows no mercy. Proud of her. The drinking slowly but steadily continued. We ditched the kids and settled down to serious business – 500. I was partnered with my husband. Now my family are very seasoned 500 players. In fact, one may well be intimidated if they had my Father for a partner. Waz and I won the first game and then my parents won the second.

Around this time we ate dinner. A repeat of lunch. I was still being good. Then my husband had dessert. Now by this stage I was pleasantly chirpy. And my willpower was severely compromised. (Thats what I’m going with) I had two spoonfuls of Mum’s caramel dumplings. This is the best thing she has ever made in the entirety of my life. If I was on death row I’d choose this as my last meal. It was great. The dam had burst. The horse had bolted. I stood in the kitchen in front of the fruit platter and I wouldn’t say I gorged but I was not mindful with my eating. It was great. I ate blueberries, dragon fruit and best of all I ate about three figs. And it was great.

I don’t feel guilty. I don’t feel that I compromised my diet. I’m not upset with myself at all. I didn’t eat a whole bowl of caramel dumplings. I wasn’t inappropriate for all the family gatherings we attended. I was 1% great. And I’m pretty certain this was my most favourite Christmas ever.

My most favourite people in the whole world. Yes I’m the short one.

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